4 Ways to Fix Facebook Dating
1. Don't use your job to get a date.
It's one thing to be a professional athlete or model. It's another thing to date somebody who could make your career a non-issue. If you don't mind making a pit stop for an unplanned date while your boss's back is turned, that's great. Otherwise, you're putting yourself at risk to be reprimanded, lose your job, and possibly (not to mention the embarrassment and guilt!) get fired. Even if you're not a full-time employee, the last thing you want to risk is taking a hit to your future career by putting your new office romance at risk. Some people might try to console you by saying, «You'll meet somebody else,» but that's never the case. If you don't want to work with somebody, then you don't get to date them, no matter how good they are with the XBox.
2. Dress appropriately.
The most important piece of advice you can give to somebody on their first date? Dress appropriately for the situation. A «Pantsuit» is what they're calling the uniform of the future, and it's the perfect dress-for-success outfit. It's got a button-down, a tailored blazer, and tailored slacks. If you're a catch, you're probably going to be asked to wear this look on a future date. You can take it off when you're up on the subject of sports, but the right clothing is always helpful. In the digital age, people are looking for more, a little more «meat» on the bones. The more you can bring to the table, the more likely you are to be taken seriously.
3. Be proactive.
One of the most helpful things a man can do on a date is be proactive. If you want to be in a relationship, you're going to have to work for it. There are a million ways to go wrong on a first date, but there are a few things you can do to lessen the chances of that happening. The first thing you should do is have a good time. This applies to everyone on the date, but it's especially important for women. Remember, a guy who enjoys himself is going to enjoy himself with somebody else, too. If you don't enjoy yourself with a guy, you're not going to enjoy him with you. A successful first date is two of you enjoying yourselves.
1. Be honest about what you want.
Too many people who try to find love online make promises about what they want in a partner but fail to deliver. «I want a guy with a great job,» they say. «I want to marry someone who loves and respects me,» they say. But how do you know if they're telling the truth? The only way to really know is to ask. If you're just looking for sex or a weeklong fling, the line between fact and fiction is much clearer. But that doesn't mean that someone who is totally open and honest with you about what they want won't fool you.
So, when looking for love, if you hear someone say things like «I'm looking for a young man who's good with his money,» don't get too excited. That person is probably just fishing for a sucker to swipe right. Everyone says they want a good relationship. Some people are just a little more upfront about it.
2. Make sure you understand their expectations.
If a woman tells you that she wants a «Daddy» and you happen to know she's not a kid, it's time to send her packing. Are her comments about wanting a man who «will take care of her» a euphemism for a man who will pay for everything? Are her expectations about who she will be around in bed unrealistic? Are you comfortable with how they present themselves? If the answer to any of these questions is no, that’s a good time to withdraw.
Make sure you understand each other's expectations for a relationship. Ask a lot of questions. Be prepared to be surprised. If your date says «I want a long-term relationship,» ask for specifics, and if you have doubts, speak up. You've got nothing to lose and every possible advantage to gain. People get better with time, but only if you give them the benefit of the doubt.
3. Keep your expectations low.
You can't be too picky. You may find the perfect guy, but it's much better to get a chance at the perfect guy than to never find someone. You aren't looking for your soulmate, you're looking for someone who is kind of like your soulmate but who you can get along with.
4. Don't dismiss a man too quickly.
A girlfriend whom I knew was turned off by a guy she'd been seeing because of his past behavior